The Devil and Mr. Clean

Listening to "This Is Not A Love Song" by Nouvelle Vague

As the days fly by and our departure date looms in the foreground, Drake and I are madly dashing around Paragon in an attempt to finish all last minute projects and tie up loose ends.  In between whipping lines, downloading and figuring out weather fax, and repairing various things (the aft head door, the zipper on the strataglass) I have also spent a portion of every day cleaning and organizing.  

The organizing part can be quite satisfying.  Do we really need sixty 2-4 foot pieces of leftover rope?  What about the miles and miles of spare wire? (Drake is under the impression that one day he will meet someone in a far off place who needs to completely rewire their boat and TADAA!  Like a misguided superhero he will come to the rescue.)  Broken brushes, lids to tupperware bottoms that are long gone, random plumbing fittings, and a host of unnecessary items linger uselessly about.  Damaged items are thrown in the bin, superfluous extras are given away, and the remaining objects have been neatly stored.

The cleaning part is not as fun.  Fenders that have been neglected for far too long have accumulated a layer of grime and gunk that seems impenetrable.  Slightly dank pools of condensation that emit a stale smell seem to pop up overnight and soak everything in their path.  Best of all though is the sailor’s constant companion...mold.   

Mold would like nothing more than to take over this boat and cover every slightly damp surface with its fuzzy and blackened finger print, so with a bleach mixture and scrubie in hand I attack.  In some cases, a quick swipe and a little elbow grease is all that is needed to put the sparkle back.  Other times, however, there isn’t enough elbow grease in the world to clean the dirty object, but this is where I bring out my secret weapon...the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.  

I do not know what sort of Faustian contract was signed in order to make this magical little pad.  I am certain that the key ingredients include crushed fairy wings and the tip of a unicorn horn mixed with the last remaining dodo feather, for how else could this eraser literally wipe clean the grimiest of grime with a mere swipe.  

I spent over an hour trying to clean a fender with the most abrasive pad available. Soaking it with soap, mineral spirits, acetone and, finally, the tears of my frustration, I had all but given up.  As a last resort I grabbed the magic eraser and sat back in amazement as it sprinkled it’s faery dust and left a sparkling clean fender in its wake.

Timidly at first, and then with a resounding WHOOP! I proceeded to clean stains that had left me stumped and under the impression that we would be simply be surrounded by discoloured patches around the boat.

Rust stain on the cabin top?  Gone!  Grease on the faux leather covering?  Finis!  A wine stain on the galley laminate that resembled the state of Wisconsin?   No more!  (sorry Wisconsin) 

Now for those of you who are scrambling over loved ones in an attempt to quickly reach the keyboard to tell me exactly why I should NEVER use the magic eraser on the boat, I beg of you to leave me in the dark.  This innocuous little pad has made my life easier in ways I cannot fully describe.  It has cut my cleaning time and, more importantly, frustration in half.  Therefore, to those delightful people at Procter & Gamble who have waged their souls so that I may better clean...I thank you.  

Side by side comparison.  The fender on the right is the third one I cleaned using nothing but the magic eraser.